Just stopping by to say..
♥ (𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘫𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺) 𝘈𝘯𝘥 the internet 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘷𝘶𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘦. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘦𝘴: ♥
𝙒𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤:
𝟙. Pray for you, check on you, lift you up, hold you accountable, declare life over you, break curses off you
𝟚. Laugh with you, make fun of you, let you make fun of them, understand you, know you even when you don’t talk about what’s going on, can see through you, but also live for the long dialogue about nothing and everything at the same time.
𝟛. Don’t hold unhealthy expectations and don’t project their own rejection on to you in an unfair way, are there for you even when you don’t always talk. when ever you do talk, you don’t lose any time because it’s about the quality of the connection.
I had more on the list but I wanted to make it short.
I think I keep most people in group number 2. I also think I keep myself in this place on the list. Not sure why I like to stay there. Maybe I keep myself there all the time and it’s just a part of my personality. I’ve always struggled with expressing myself fully outside of music. Music has always been my personal diary. It’s always been there for me. And I’ve always used it to channel what ever was on my heart. My brother and I (and most of my friends) have always used humor to deal with things. As a man, I feel cringe or even a sense of mundane when it comes to certain emotions or the idea of reacting to certain emotions. Like.. why even feel them. Half the time I don’t. I thought because I don’t show my emotions and I have learned to control them or not react to them that it meant I was more emotionally in tuned than i really was. I asked my wife about it because I really thought I was more in tuned than most people, and she said “well, your sentimental… but not really in tuned with your emotions because you often don’t feel anything or don’t know what you feel.”
When I got saved I figured.. spiritual maturity meant not being led by my emotions.. which I am not. But am I just suppressing them? Or am I just chilling. Am I supposed to feel more than I do?
Is that what most guys are like? That’s mostly how I’ve always been. I don’t see much sense in being emotional.. perhaps I just process logically more than with my emotions?
It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. Because.. my favorite thing to do is joke around. Lol
My Brain is constantly joking about something so I remain entertained always. It’s a side affect of growing up with adhd
But maybe there’s more to it, idk. I feel like I’m learning myself even more these days. I sometimes wonder if some of “me” has to do with moving around like I did. Never being able to open enough to voice an opinion because mine never really mattered. As soon as I’d open up I’d leave again so why express it? Which was why music was always a go-to. My fam was always there but not there. But everything changed when I encountered God and especially His amazing presence.. it shifts everything. I got healing everywhere.
The only thing I can really react to is the presence and anointing of God. Either I get very serious as I discern the moment or my emotions stir up within. Or I get very grateful when He comes in. I never want to make what’s Holy and sacred become too familiar to me to where I’m not amazed. Because that very presence saved my life.
Anyways. My point is. I don’t want to just stay the friend that laughs and points at you just to appease myself. And maybe I don’t have to be emotional, maybe it doesn’t take that to be a better friend. Maybe I just gotta be there. That I can do. I want to be the friend that not only laughs with you (and at you) but who prays for you. In a real and genuine and powerful way. And I don’t need to feel emotional for that lol. I don’t have to feel anything (I don’t think)
So if you catch me anywhere. Help me practice. Let me pray for you. And pray for me. I’m just trying to be a better human one here.